As a single mom of FIVE, happy, independant kids aged 11, 8, 6, 4 and 2, I can't stress enough the importance of routine in a child's life. By giving your kids the ability to know what to expect, they in turn can prepare themselves beforehand, so they don't become overwhelmed.
For me seeing is believing...ha..my five children are each uniquely different but by having a base for routine they have been able to take that stress out of their lives and focus more on figuring out themselves! Of course sometimes the routine goes to the wind but the more consistant you are with it the more predictable your kids will be...happy and they will indirectly feel like they have some control over their everchanging worlds.
Simple examples are daily routine...bedtime specifically. Of course most kids want to stay up late and have mom or dad sleep with them...who wouldn't???...The problem with that is that they become grumpy because of lack of sleep and so do you if you've ever had a kid share your sleep time! ha...Believe it or not they are just as happy knowing that their routine is to brush their teeth and hop into bed for a story before 8 pm cuz that's when lights are out. I have found that warning your child about what is about to happen allows for a smooth transitions...no tantrums or crying when it' time for the next piece of the routine. I will tell my kids 5 or 10 minutes before they actually have to start getting ready for bed so that they are not overwhelmed and they have time to finish playing or whatever activity it may be. That also gives you an acceptable parameter for negotiation. They can ask for 5 more minutes and that may be ok with you, while giving them a sense of confidence by making a decision, not realizing that you really controlled it. Smile...It may take a little while to break bad habits but I guarantee that if you stick to a routine, so that your kids know what to expect and when, they will be the better for it and so will you! Give it a try...I dare you...smile.
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